I apologize in advance.

I hate to do it, but I'm going to have to launch into a server rant about a hot new trend. And I know that it might not go over very well because my best friend (I love you!) falls into this heading, and I know some of these people are legit, maybe even her, but not most people, so here I go...

"Gluten Allergies". How is it that over the past 3 months every other table I wait on has at least one "gluten allergy"? I mean, I get it, a working knowledge of food science vocabulary is exciting. Its like loving sauce! It's broad, vague and yet specific! It implies a certain amount of self awareness and knowledge about the fact that what you put into your body has an impact on how your body feels. And that's cool. But, really? Really really? Celiac disease exists, I would be mean and crazy to try to deny it, but I just wonder when it became contagious! I hope I don't catch it by sharing used tattoo needles or a drinking out of someone else's water glass!

It drives me insane because there are so many faces of "gluten allergies"- there are the dieters who don't want to say they are just on a diet and so they medicalize it to make it sound more legitimate, there are the new age-y types who follow every food fear trend, the self important self diagnosers who like to show off, and then there are a few people who really are celiac's and they carry around a card that explains their medical condition AND, what's more important, is they call ahead and leave information with their reservation explaining that they might need a few special allowances.

Seriously, I don't think having a little gas and or a stomach ache is that big of a deal. I get those things too, but I would rather have them than either a. find out I have an actual allergy and have to change my eating habits or b. make a big deal about it and make other people treat me differently. Is it the gluten or is it the 4 cocktails you just drank that will make you feel like shit in the morning?

These gluten people are almost worse than vegans. They don't plan ahead but expect restaurants to bend over backwards to make adjustments to the menu for them at 8 pm on a Saturday. And then wonder why it takes a long time. This has become such a problem at my restaurant that we are having a meeting this week to specifically address it! And, there are dishes on our menu that don't have gluten in them- but these people don't want those ones. They want the ones with the gluten but special for them, without the gluten. My favorite part is when they make this special request, we run around like crazy to accommodate them, they remind me of their importance every time I get to their table "now, this is gluten free, riiiight?", but then when dessert gets to the table they "indulge!!!" and have some fucking cake! NOT ON MY WATCH! GLUTEN! I never want to speak of you again!

Everything in moderation, as my grandmother always says. If you have an imaginary or real allergy, please call ahead and we would be happy to "indulge!!!" you.

Life Plans

I'm sorry there is a stupid ad in the screen, but this was one of my favorite scenes from the movie. I can relate so closely to how she feels!

Estate Sale Sneakery

Kevin and I stopped at an estate sale in our neighborhood because we are sick and obsessed. It was one of the weirdest yet, which is saying something.

However.

I was digging through their weird and horrible cookbooks (looking for Mastering the Art of French Cooking) when I stumbled upon James Beard's Theory & Practice of Good Cooking. I just finished reading the Tenth Muse by Judith Jones and so I have been thinking a lot about him- his talent and eccentricities. I was flipping through it when I noticed that there on the first page it was SIGNED! I slammed the book shut and asked how much. 50 cents later and it was mine!
I do love getting change back at an estate sale.

The book is full of funny explanations and opinions like this one: "I'm always astounded by the number of people who say they don't like or have never eaten rabbit. They are to be pitied." Pitied! I agree.
I plan on trying a few of his recipes, but I am especially interested in making bread. I will next attempt to acquire Beard On Bread.

Anyway, I am a lucky girl indeed.

A Whole Duck

I got a whole duck from work on saturday night, beak, eyes, paws, flippers and all. It is soooo cute and now different parts of its body are allll over my kitchen. First, its head, spine, and ribcage were dismantled and roasted in the oven( I am a terrible butcher, by the way. It took 4 knives and a lot of ripping for me to get everything apart). Toasted bones make a great stock.
Meanwhile, the breasts have been wrapped and are now relaxing in the freezer until further notice with a pound of awesome ground beef that I changed my mind about for tonight's dinner. The legs and wangs are in the oven after being pan seared, and are nestled in around 4 pounds of lamb shanks, onions, garlic, herbs, tomato sauce and cabernet.
The skin is boiling on the stove in order to render of some fat that I can eat with a spoon during dark moments.

What ever am I up to?

Well... I saw Julie and Julia on Saturday morning with Kevin and Shane and we (I) cried through the whole movie. I loved it! And, just like everyone else who saw it, I remembered how amazing Julia Child was and rushed to get a copy of MtAoFC (and wished I went to a private cooking school in Paris). Naturally, every (every) book store in Portland is sold out! It was kind of embarrassing to ask for it today, as I knew all kinds of yahoos have been searching for it just because of the movie. I'm just sad that I didn't already have a copy.
You see, I already made plans and invited everyone over to have Pate de canard en croute tonight. But then I couldn't find the book this morning. I already had the duck, the beef and the pork for the filling, I just needed the recipe and a trussing needle!
So anyway. It was not meant to happen today. I did find a copy of Julia Child & More Company though, and decided to make a cassoulet. I tracked down four pounds of lamb shanks and some navy beans, and now everything is cooking.

I had never butchered a duck before today- it is much harder than they make it look at my job. I will post photos later of the process and the results. In the mean time, go see that movie!

Oregon State Fair (= bad behavior)

We made a pilgrimage to the Oregon State Fair on Tuesday. Heres what we consumed:

1 Mount St. Helens of Twirly Fries (real name)
5 hand dipped corn dogs
1 non hand dipped corn dog
1 regular hot dog
1 notdog
1 elephant ear
2 ears of corn (1 dipped in butter froth)
1 frozen strawberry lemonade
1 giant diet coke

Probably other things too but it's too upsetting to remember. Because... after all of that, my friend Nic and I decided to go on a ride! None of our friends or boyfriends would agree to go with us, and we didn't understand why until we got on the ride and it started swirling us around, as if in an effort to kill us! It was the worst minute of my life! We cried and begged to be let off, screaming "WE REGRET IT!" and "MAKE IT STOP!". The elephant ear really made my experience horrible. I'm surprised I didn't barf, though it probably would have been a relief. Do you see the photo up there that is a violent blur of light and pain? That's us, drooling and squeezing our eyes shut. When we got off the ride, our friends

Other highlights of the fair included looking at the gift basket, scrapbook, table setting, and cake decorating competition exhibits. I am tempted to enter the gift basket competition next year. I'd like to say it would be an easy win but you know how gift basketeers are- mean and competitive.

Also I saw some pygmy goats and am 100% positive that I want two. So next spring, get ready for goat mayhem.

A Summer Birthday

Look at all this food! No surprise this party was for a certain cook who makes the most delicious staff meals!

Fortune and FAME!

I was interviewed during the Portland Pie-Off by Leslie Cole, a food writer for Oregon Live, and guess what. The article has been posted!! Click here to read all of my flattering quotes that proclaim my love of pie for breakfast and for every other meal too. She also posted my recipe with a link to my blog. So if you are here because you read my recipe, read on. I will be featuring recipes for things like fried candy bars and funnel cake tomorrow after my big trip to the Oregon State Fair.

Kidding about the candy bar recipe. Wouldn't that just add to my already questionable reputation as a lover of fats.