Bird Flu

Actually, bird shit. As I was describing a crispy lamb belly dish to my first table last night, a bird crapped on my head. I felt something cold and wet land in my hair with enough weight not to be a water droplet. I clapped my hand to my head, stunned. The people I was waited on all went "oooooooooooohhhh man!" but I cheered, "A GOOD OMEN!" And I think it was.
We have moved into our new house- we are stealing internet from someone else and the signal is spotty. I will give a better update when things settle down a little bit around here.

Justice is Served

I'll tell you the tale of another waitress's pain since currently I don't have any good ones.

She works at a restaurant in my old NW neighborhood. She works hard... oh, how she works long. One beautiful afternoon as she served lunch, she had a table of business men. Nothing new here. They had money, light personalities, and shiny, pointed shoes (I'm guessing, as most of them do). They ordered cappuccino's with which to finish their meal. She went to make them, and when she returned, they were gone. Her blood pressure shot up and she furiously ran out to the sidewalk. There they were, in their big, fancy, dumb car trying to drive away. But alas, they were parked in. She approached the car and knocked on the window.
"You seem to have forgotten to PAY YOUR BILL?!?!?!?!" She hissed.
"Oh well my car seems to have been parked in, so I guess thats justice".


So guys, that's justice. When your Mercedes SUV (or whatever) gets parked in while you are walking out on your bill from a restaurant, That. Is. JUSTICE.


Thank you Samantha for the heart warming and educational lesson of the Business Man and the Justice System.

Forgotten

I find it harder and harder to remember what happened at work the moment I walk out the door, these days. I went out drankin' with my beautiful co-workers the other night, and none of us could remember what crap had gone on mere moments before. What can you whine about when you can't even remember a single person's face or bad attitude from the evening? I have to practice word games to help jog my memory (which is a frail and faulty tangled web of lies anyway) such as : mean. nice. rude. poorly dressed. handsome. abusive. sexist. sexy. sexless. OH YEAH! And then I can launch into another boring waitressing story. But even the game isn't helping me tonight, and I really wanted to get snarky.

I will tell you that me and the Hollys got hit on by this can of vegetables


And in a much more annoying way by this balding I mean budding comedy star:



Anyway. Staff meal on saturday night was baked potato bar with rapini in smokey onion cheese sauce. Um... Are you kidding me? Broccoli and cheese on a baked potato? It was very soothing.

In other news I had a fantastic meal here including red velvet cake for dessert, and a famous burger at this famous spot in my new neighborhood!

Ghost in the Machine

Has anyone ever pressed the handicap symbol next to the word verification line when they were leaving a comment on a blog? I don't know why we need to scare the shit out of our handicap readers, but I do know you should press that button as a party trick.

In other news, we were gifted a bagful of Tastebud Farms brick-oven bagels today at the farmers market from the artist himself. They are smaller than other bagels which means maybe I won't go into a coma after I eat one. I'll let you know.

BTW, It's ON.

(photo from pietopiacontest.blogspot.com)

Lookey lookey- its Pietopia! This is a contest that I am going to compete in for sure. You get to write an essay AND make a pie!!!!! The concept is that you create a pie that represents something going on in your life at the moment. So I guess my pie will be "Utter Chaos and Anxiety*" pie! You write about how each of the ingredients represents something relevant to your situation. Can I really make a pie of whiskey, cereal and asprin? It's going to be a challenge but I think I can!

But seriously, what do I love more than writing creative essays and baking pies? Putting them together is not only thrilling but also signals that there are other dweebs just like me, right here in Portland. I will NOT be revealing my recipe until the day of the contest OBVIOUSLY, but I will keep you posted with any great success or failures.



*Clearly, we are remaining remarkably chipper and enthusiastic. However, buying a house sucks and if you don't want to walk around with the shakes and your cellphone glued to your palm I might recommend that you avoid it.

Laurelhurst Market

Last night, Kevin and I unexpectedly stumbled upon the best night ever. We were thinking about going to Ken's for more pizza, when we got a phone call from one of Kevin's employees. This employee has another job cooking at Simpatica, and so he was invited to the soft opening for their new venture, The Laurelhurst Market. He kindly extended the invitation to us! The new place is both a butcher shop and restaurant- naturally heavy on the meat. The space is beautiful and includes black and sliver wallpaper in the bathroom (wallpaper being my favorite thing ever). It was too cold to be outside last night, but the bar has windows that open to an outside bar. So you can be sitting outside, looking into the restaurant and also at the people sitting at the inside version of where you are. Whhhaaaaat? The cocktail list is very rad and includes a smoky whisky drink that is made with smoked ice.
We sat down with some friends and were served a million perfect plates: grilled romaine with romanesco sauce, steak au poivre, steak frites (one of the best hanger steaks I have tried), sweet sweet mussels and frites with the thickest and most luscious aioli you can imagine, pate with pistachios, stinky macaroni and cheese, ribs... It was a frenzy. Our friend Eric who also didn't expect to be there kept yelling as dishes arrived "I'm gonna FREAK OUT." I shared his sentiment- I really was freaking out. And being a soft opening, the night was free. We left a tip of course, but whoa. I am SO LUCKY.
We realized that we were a few of the only non-Simpatica employees there- that was a little awkward, but we worked through it and maybe even made some friends. I can't wait to go back when it is officially open, which by the way happens on Friday. You should go, and bring your friends.

All Too Familiar

This* looks a lot like staff meal, doesn't it? That's me at the bottom, stealing from Shane's plate.

*photo from cuteoverload.com, my favorite website.