19 December 2008

Sorry Folks (descriptor, not apology)

We are all sorry folks in the restaurant business right now. Shifts being cut left and right, snow keeping people at home, dinners going uneaten. So why haven't I been blogging, you ask? I've been busy thinking of creative ways to occupy my pathetic schedule. I have found many: putting glitter on pine cones, making christmas presents, fawning over Jacky more than usual, baking, cooking lasagnas, wondering if I should start babysitting again, and getting drunk. Just kidding! No, seriously. We also cut down our own christmas tree out in the middle of nowhere, and then decorated it with said pine cones. It's fun having pretty much nothing to do but wring your hands in worry and do crafts. My cayenne-red Kitchenaid mixer came (omg omg omg) so I am preparing to make tons of treats with my mummie. Yes, my mom and brother are coming for Christmas. I usually go to my grandparents house in New Hampshire for the holiday, but I am staying here this year and those two hooligans are coming out for a wee visit. I'm guessing that's why it's snowing here in Oregon- to make me feel like I'm at home and to make them hate it here. Thanks nature, but you can give it a rest.
On Sunday night we went to Pearl's house and strung popcorn and cranberries. It was very Norman Rockwell, and Pearl was being extra cute as she knew she was being watched (Santa.). Internet, I'm going to tell you what I am making for Pearl for Christmas, but you have to promise not to tell her. I'm going to whip her up some homemade pink marshmallows (in my new mixer YAY!), baking her some graham crackers, designing her a personalized chocolate bar wrapper, and finding the most perfect of toasting sticks. Thats right, her very own s'more kit. It's obvious that she has made up for all of her naughty behavior by bribing me with kisses and sweet nothings ever since she realized christmas is coming. My original plan was COAL, AND LOTS OF IT! but when I told her this, she curled up in my lap and batted her eyelashes at me and promised me I was her favorite cousin. What can I say, I'm a sucker for the kid.
In other news, we went to the Stumptown Coffee Christmas party on Tuesday night. They took over the Ace Hotel and Clyde Common, filled the hotel lobby with a mechanical bull plus inflatable ring, and hired a tattoo artist to give out free tattoos. It was intense. There was also a photographer there taking holiday photos for everyone, and we got one taken. I'm laughing with that huge face of mine, and Kevin is crying into his cocktail. According to my dad, it looks like they "photoshopped a fake hand" onto my body, but actually its the real me, looking nuts! So that's cool. We had a good time. None of us rode the bull, but lots of guys took off their pants to ride it with their white collared shirts, ties, and briefs. Many girls attempted the sexy bull ride scene from Urban Cowboy but none achieved it. Oh sexy bull rides. How elusive you seem to be....
Ok, I'm off to probably get fired from my job I mean go to work. Stay tuned for christmas baking with Dirty Deeds (aka De De aka my mom), updates on Pearls gift, and my fundraiser for if I get fired tonight.

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