25 February 2009

On the Rocks

Staff Meal has raised some questions at work. My boss knows about my blog, and thinks its funny to a certain extent, but has concluded that it will probably be the end to him.
Though I'm not sure about that, I certainly don't want to piss the man off. I don't want to make people feel alienated from eating in restaurants because they think they might be made fun of in a blog by their waitress that very night (and if they are worried about it, then they probably are. There are hundreds of us out there with access to computers).
I also know that my performance could be written about on a nightly basis by way of citysearch or any other online forum, and in a much more direct manner. But, I suppose I am putting myself out there knowingly and getting paid for it, whilst diners are just trying to get something to eat.
So. I have received no direct instructions to stop. But. What do I do? I can tell you what I did do directly after we had our little chat- I ran out of the office moaning, YOU CAN'T KILL MY AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!! And then after a few minutes I walked back in and said "OK, I get it, but you know I have to blog about waiting on Dolly Parton's Gynecologist, right?" And he said "I know."


20 February 2009

Tea time

I have been making Kombucha for the past few weeks. Kombucha is a fermented tea that is full of live cultures and is very healthy and wonderful. It tastes a bit like sparkling vinegar in its raw form.
I meant to post the first photos a while ago, but alas they are the blue-ish photos further down. Holly gave me the mother culture to get everything started, and since then I have created 6 of my own! Today I will part with two, and I am working on making two more. The batch I created today was perfect- sparkly and not sweet.
I do not know how you would make it without having a friend to give you a mother, but I think you can order them off line. Once you have a mother its easy- Boil a quart of water with a quarter cup of sugar, and then add a tablespoon of organic black tea. Steep and strain the tea, then cool it until it reaches less than 100 degrees. It is vital that you cool it down enough or it will kill the mother! Then, pour it into a glass bowl, float the mother on top along with a half of a cup of kombucha tea (the mother should have been waiting in it anyway), and then cover it with a cotton towel. You let this ferment for 7 to 10 days. My house is toasty warm and so it happens fast here- but colder takes longer. This link contains the directions I followed : Kombucha Directions

I feel like I have 6 children now that are all mothers. Creepy.

Kombucha Files Part 1

Kombucha Files Part 2

14 February 2009

Happy VD

Though not with my sweetheart this Valentines day, I'm celebrating very seriously with my mom and brother, in Maine. My grandmother's funeral is tomorrow, and so we all came home for the weekend to celebrate her life and to be together. My mom just made a thousand shortbread cookies for the funeral- check them out! She is a professional- sometimes I forget that she owned an all-cookie bakery in Portsmouth, NH before I was born called Harts and Oats. She CLAIMS she didn't name it after Hall and Oates, and that her last name is Hart and her partner's last name was Oates, but I think we all know better. If I can wrestle the recipe out of her later, I will post it. They are amazing cookies, hardly sweet at all.

09 February 2009

Why go out? Because no one else will smile at you.

There was another Creepy MacNeal perched at the end of the bar on friday night, and it was hard to know if he wanted to be Shane's best friend or Shane's boyfriend. He was really just a weirdo who wanted to tell all of us how much he loves our restaurant, and all of us. I mean, you guys- he has eaten in restaurants in New York before. New York! And he still thinks that we are the best. It's... our flavors. Our flavors are the best. He really like the flavors A LOT. In fact, he "nearly bought a condo in the Pearl just to be closer to our flavors!".
What the fuck are people talking about when they say that? It's the most vague and annoying thing to say ever. "Mmm... What I like about this dish... is all the flavors..." Can a dish not have "flavors"? Even if the flavor is "suck", it still has "flavors". After hearing him tell me, then Shane, then Jack the same fucking story about the flavors, I had to air my hatred for this man to Jack. Only to be rudely inturrupted by one of those chef's in the kitchen yelling "RUNNER PLEASE"! So he had to trot away and get the food. The plate needing to be run happened to be for our buddy at the end of the bar. Jack swooped it under his face and declared, like a maniac, "SPEAKING OF FLAVORS!!!!!" The guy looked like he had just won the lottery. How he glowed under the warmth of Jack's validation! What a loser! I almost shrieked with laughter, or maybe I actually did. Not sure.

But anyway. I a lot of really fun things happened at work this weekend. A drunk mom begged her daughter to be her friend on Facebook... a lesbian with Wierd Al hair poured her whole beer on a super conservative straight couple that were side-sitting on the banquette... an old british man told me he was a growing boy who needed more cheese (sounds funny but he was serious and had great hostility in his voice)...

It's over now. My most vivid memories are off the TWO staff meals I had this weekend. The first was the return of the giant sandwich. This one was filled with the center bread, extracted, fried, covered in cheese sauce, and returned to the loaf, pork loin, sherried red onions, and greens. We also had fried duck terrine. Then we had beignets.
Saturday night we all got to enjoy that tasty wild mushroom lasagna together with a lovely green salad.
I stopped by Clyde Common to spy on their staff meal too! Theirs looked really delicious and one of the employees told me that after a bad meal the week before he had snapped and the kitchen had been on their best behavior ever since. I told him he should start his own staff meal blog to use as a policing device.
They were having roast chicken and potatoes, a big salad, and baked pasta... maybe with pesto. Very delicious looking, and seemingly a good come-back.

04 February 2009

The Biggest Loser (not the show)

I had the distinct pleasure of waiting on the biggest asshole of all time tonight. Did we ever speak? No. Did I ever make eye contact with him? No. Did he gesture, as I stood behind him trying to clear plates, for me to give him a back rub "while I was back there"? Yes, yes he did. And grinned at his "friends" all the while. I should have slapped him right on the ear.

The good news is that I got staff meal. Well, I got extra party food (even better). A little porky spaetzle, a little pear salad, a little wild mushroom lasagna... and a LOT of meyer lemon semifreddo. Dessert, as you know, is the final frontier for me when it comes to staff meal. So that ruled.

01 February 2009


Everything that could have gone wrong last night, did. It was busy (I guess that's good at least), and right at that crucial 7:30 turn when everyone should be leaving so the grownups could come sit down, the computer crashed. I was all "I'll be right back with your check"... in twenty minutes when we get the computer back up. So we were hand writing orders into the kitchen and ignoring the desperate stares of diners wanting to leave. Meanwhile the people who had reservations for those tables were getting restless. We giggled and turned up the reggae to encourage good vibes around the restaurant and to drown out the screaming of our minds. I'm sure everyone appreciated this gesture. It certainly did inspire the creep of the night who was perched at the end of the bar to muse about the various qualities of my hair that he especially liked. LOUDER MUSIC PLEASE!
My very favorite part, however, was when the kitchen started flooding. Its an open kitchen, there's no where to hide. Water doesn't take to hiding well anyway- we were piling up mats and trying to play it cool while it desperately attempted to flow onto the dining room floor. Greasy, greasy water.
Shane kept asking, "is it a full moon?" as he smashed martini glasses into the ice well.
So... was it?