This mornings Emails

From my brother:

"I just read your blog and can feel you eyes judging near everything that enters my mouth.
there is nothing wrong with ho-hos and a bottle of blush wine for dinner in my bed while watching youtube clips of cats doing funny things. I feel like you are the Obama of food in our family and I am his Half brother who got caught propositioning a 13 year old girl of food in our family.
I guess I just need to let go and be ok with myself."

From another family member (I feel compelled to protect her husband's identity for some reason):

"Can Staffmeal be an advice column one day a week? For our food related problems?
Because I have a question & I need answers!

Q: Is it NORMAL for a husband to go into the GARBAGE CAN with a fork to have a little spaghetti?
Spaghetti that was left out overnight before being tossed?

Here is our conversation, just for context:
(dog walk)
Jay: I ate that avocado.
Me: Oh, good.
Jay: And some spaghetti!
Me: What spaghetti?
walk walk walk
Me: Wait-WHAT?"